Ashura Essay
Aug. 1st, 2019 08:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
guru_clefAre you ashura you want to do this....?
It has been so long and no time at all, it seems, since Clef Ascended. He keeps changing, and everytime he is certain that he knows who he is, something comes to prove him wrong. And it is no longer just the storms. Surprising no one, Clef dove into studying the varying new abilities open to him, flight being his preferred one, while focusing strongly on defensive magic. He's been training with Nita and Connie and Link, and has plans to train with Shadow.
But things have shifted. And while Zagato arriving wasn't the catalyst for those changes, it did bring them roaring to the front. Some of it had been already been visible around the edges, his arguments with Link getting more frequent over combat issues, and defense strategies and less over school and academics. The first major clash resulted in the upcoming duel with Shadow to prove that Clef is as good as he knows himself to be. Because that is one of the key issues causing friction between him and his son. Link wants to protect him, Clef wants to help Link protect everyone. Link is sure that Clef is too overconfident and is underestimating Ganon where as Clef is sure that Link is underestimating him, himself. He also feels that
Link broke his word, because Link promised that of he researched and truly understood, then should Ganon ever arrive Link would let Clef stand with him. Link, apparently, was sure that when Clef researched and truly understood, he'd step back and let Link fight on his own. Shadow's duel is to give them all a reasonable idea of if Clef could actually survive standing back to back with Link against such a foe. And with that challenge looming things seemed to calm down for a while.
And then Zagato Woke.
And it all roared to the front. Clef lashed out, pulling back at the last moment only because killing Zagato in Naut isn't a solution, it was just putting off the solution for a week. But he had been prepared, he had plans for if Ganon or Zagato should ever show up. Link insisted they take the betrayer to Irene and since it was her advice he needed to put his plan into action he agreed. Clef could understand her reasoning for denying his first plan - finding an empty magicless world where Zagato could do no harm and sealing him away there. He agreed they did not want to create a flaw and he himself knew of no such world. But when his next plan - locking him in a no-bending cell in solitary - was flat out denied he was stunned and hurt. And furious. And so he's been researching other ways to handle Zagato, accepting that the answer might be that he would have to Unmake the High Priest. Link being horrified by this hurts Clef deeply, and his attempts to convince his son to help him find some other plan have been a disaster.
So what we have, now, is a mage who came into Nautilus so sure he knew EVERYTHING he needed to know morally and who focused on learning new magics only, who renounced his title and revisiting all he thought he knew about himself, to the current Clef; a mage desperate to do anything to protect his family and livid that no one is taking seriously the threat that Zagato represents. He is hurting and angry and quite frankly terrified in a way that he's never been before. A long lingering terror that is leading him down some rather dark paths. He is looking for other ways to deal with those who pose a threat to his loved ones, but he is willing to Unmake if that is the only remaining choice. And that willingness is putting him on the other side of a drawn line from the person he most wants to protect...
He has no clue, of course, just how poetic that is, given what Zagato has truly done in his version of their universe. He also has no clue that this Zagato isn't his Zagato, no more than Zagato realizes that this isn't the Clef he always knew...
In some ways this all shows how much Clef has grown since ascending. As of when he became Angelii he was doubting himself constantly, sure that he was wrong about everything and that he needed to learn from scratch all that once he knew. Since then he has come to accept being called a Guru again, thought it was grudging at first and has regained a lot of condifance. His scope of what he studies has expanded greatly recently, and he has also focused more than ever on shielding spells, having practiced with Ten, Link, Connie, and Nita. He has found a lot of his old confidence and while some of that is leading to dangerous arrogance, some of it is also him becoming secure in his new vision of who he is likely going to be. He wants to protect his family, and that is becoming his overriding goal. Protecting others.
As to what he has accomplished:
~ Better at Bending, especially shields
~ Helping others in training logs
~ Encouraging Link to work on his Angelii powers (with varying degrees of success, and no flying is NOT too flashy)
~ Keeping himself from straight up murdering Zagato. Which really REALLY took a lot of self control, okay?
It has been so long and no time at all, it seems, since Clef Ascended. He keeps changing, and everytime he is certain that he knows who he is, something comes to prove him wrong. And it is no longer just the storms. Surprising no one, Clef dove into studying the varying new abilities open to him, flight being his preferred one, while focusing strongly on defensive magic. He's been training with Nita and Connie and Link, and has plans to train with Shadow.
But things have shifted. And while Zagato arriving wasn't the catalyst for those changes, it did bring them roaring to the front. Some of it had been already been visible around the edges, his arguments with Link getting more frequent over combat issues, and defense strategies and less over school and academics. The first major clash resulted in the upcoming duel with Shadow to prove that Clef is as good as he knows himself to be. Because that is one of the key issues causing friction between him and his son. Link wants to protect him, Clef wants to help Link protect everyone. Link is sure that Clef is too overconfident and is underestimating Ganon where as Clef is sure that Link is underestimating him, himself. He also feels that
Link broke his word, because Link promised that of he researched and truly understood, then should Ganon ever arrive Link would let Clef stand with him. Link, apparently, was sure that when Clef researched and truly understood, he'd step back and let Link fight on his own. Shadow's duel is to give them all a reasonable idea of if Clef could actually survive standing back to back with Link against such a foe. And with that challenge looming things seemed to calm down for a while.
And then Zagato Woke.
And it all roared to the front. Clef lashed out, pulling back at the last moment only because killing Zagato in Naut isn't a solution, it was just putting off the solution for a week. But he had been prepared, he had plans for if Ganon or Zagato should ever show up. Link insisted they take the betrayer to Irene and since it was her advice he needed to put his plan into action he agreed. Clef could understand her reasoning for denying his first plan - finding an empty magicless world where Zagato could do no harm and sealing him away there. He agreed they did not want to create a flaw and he himself knew of no such world. But when his next plan - locking him in a no-bending cell in solitary - was flat out denied he was stunned and hurt. And furious. And so he's been researching other ways to handle Zagato, accepting that the answer might be that he would have to Unmake the High Priest. Link being horrified by this hurts Clef deeply, and his attempts to convince his son to help him find some other plan have been a disaster.
So what we have, now, is a mage who came into Nautilus so sure he knew EVERYTHING he needed to know morally and who focused on learning new magics only, who renounced his title and revisiting all he thought he knew about himself, to the current Clef; a mage desperate to do anything to protect his family and livid that no one is taking seriously the threat that Zagato represents. He is hurting and angry and quite frankly terrified in a way that he's never been before. A long lingering terror that is leading him down some rather dark paths. He is looking for other ways to deal with those who pose a threat to his loved ones, but he is willing to Unmake if that is the only remaining choice. And that willingness is putting him on the other side of a drawn line from the person he most wants to protect...
He has no clue, of course, just how poetic that is, given what Zagato has truly done in his version of their universe. He also has no clue that this Zagato isn't his Zagato, no more than Zagato realizes that this isn't the Clef he always knew...
In some ways this all shows how much Clef has grown since ascending. As of when he became Angelii he was doubting himself constantly, sure that he was wrong about everything and that he needed to learn from scratch all that once he knew. Since then he has come to accept being called a Guru again, thought it was grudging at first and has regained a lot of condifance. His scope of what he studies has expanded greatly recently, and he has also focused more than ever on shielding spells, having practiced with Ten, Link, Connie, and Nita. He has found a lot of his old confidence and while some of that is leading to dangerous arrogance, some of it is also him becoming secure in his new vision of who he is likely going to be. He wants to protect his family, and that is becoming his overriding goal. Protecting others.
As to what he has accomplished:
~ Better at Bending, especially shields
~ Helping others in training logs
~ Encouraging Link to work on his Angelii powers (with varying degrees of success, and no flying is NOT too flashy)
~ Keeping himself from straight up murdering Zagato. Which really REALLY took a lot of self control, okay?
